Are you Effing kidding me?!

Dolls Gone Wild
By Ruth Twentey

In case you haven't heard, or have been laying off the Barbie Web sites recently (uh-huh, suuure), there's controversy in the air—specifically, a blonde bird sporting black boots and gloves, fishnet stockings, and a shiny motorcycle jacket.
"S&M Barbie lashed by public" shouted a headline in the UK newspaper The Sun back in July, referring to Black Canary Barbie (or BCB as I've come to call her, for simplicity but also for the cheeky allusion to fashion giant BCBG). BCB is Mattel's newest incarnation in the long-standing (and posing and smiling) and ever-morphing Barbie franchise.

Chat rooms and blogs catching wind of the doll's product launch, in late October at Toys "R" Us and other retail outlets, lit up with indignant outrage. How dare Mattel market such a "tarty" Barbie to impressionable pre-adolescent girls? Most seemed to miss the doll's intended pop-culture connection, or at least missed the fine print on her page on BarbieCollector.com, which reads somewhat scandalously, "For the adult collector."

Never mind that there are adult collectors of Barbies. (Our apologies if you are one; and by the way, have you checked out the very real Showgirl Barbie and Tout de Suite Barbie?) In actuality, BCB is based on a DC Comics heroine with a somber back story and belt notches not for kinky liaisons, but for knocking off bad guys with the best of the Justice League. Her secret weapon is her "canary cry," with which she can stun humans and "bust" glass at will.

BCB does indeed look like she's headed for the roadhouse bar—perhaps for a pole dancing contest—or an audition for backup on Britney Spears' next tour. But is she really a grave threat to the moral welfare of young people?

Frankly, I wish she would swoop down and rescue our daughters (and sons for that matter) from the far more insidious and dead-serious challengers to the Barbie throne: the Bratz, whose heavy-handed makeup application rivals that of the late Tammy Faye Baker.

For of course no discussion of the depravity of modern youth due to plastic playthings can avoid a head-on collision with the Bratz, the self-proclaimed "only girls with a passion for fashion." With heavy-lidded expressions of disdain seemingly directed even toward their owners, Bratz are a symbol of everything gone awry in the world for some—and an astounding sales sensation for their manufacturer.
While parent company MGA Entertainment does not release sales figures for the Bratz dolls, some experts say that their success is readily reflected in Barbie's declining domestic sales—as well as in the Bratz's undeniable conquest of every marketing outlet available, from members-only chat rooms to full-length animated films.

Perhaps most tellingly, Barbie herself appears to have capitulated to the peer pressure to "prostitot" herself to a level she's never reached before. The Mattel offshoot Web site, barbiegirls.com, provides all the pouty-lipped, mall-based action marketed so effectively by Bratz. Underage-looking and with heads inflated to bobble size, these animated pint-sized Barbies have higher skirts and bare-r midriffs than their classical counterparts. They cultivate another exclusive world where cool, popular girls can eagerly display their catch phrases and skimpy clothing.
True, a chill wind blows across Planet Bratz: New developments from the real world could potentially deal a fatal blow to the entire Barbie-Bratz competition. After a nearly four-year trial in a California federal court, a jury found in early December that Bratz creator Carter Bryant breached a contract with Mattel and that MGA consequently infringed on Mattel copyright, from its first sale of dolls in 2001. In addition to hefty damages awarded (a reported $10 million for the infringement and up to $90 million for the breach), the U.S. District judge has banned the sale of every one of the 40 dolls in the Bratz line, effective "after the holidays."
But the verdict speaks only to which manufacturer owns the riches gained from Bratz sales. It reflects nothing about the nature of the demand for the dolls.

In a 2007 report, the American Psychological Association concluded that "the proliferation of sexualized images of girls and young women in advertising, merchandising, and media is harmful to girls' self-image and healthy development." This is no surprise to most parents. And yet sales of these dolls-gone-wild are skyrocketing. It seems the collective parenting purse is succumbing to a doll-marketing bonanza that has also gone wild.

As the parent of daughter who has received four Barbies and three Bratz dolls as well-meant gifts in the span of her four years, I've had that creepy "know-it-when-I see-it" feeling about these presents plenty of times. After the novelty of each toy wore off, my daughter went back to her stuffed animals and forgot about the Bratz and Barbies, after which they seem to have mysteriously "disappeared" from her toy chest.

Perhaps someday she'll find their message appealing, but I'm thankful it hasn't happened yet. Even with all the "girl power" and parent-power propaganda on both the Mattel and MGA sites, I'm just not buying it.

Ruth Twentey works and lives in Seattle with her husband and young daughter.

Now, I'm a total geek and I love comics, but even I know this is WAAAY too much for the Barbie crowd, because Black Canary is not as recognizable to mainstream pop culture the way Supergirl or Wonder Woman - both whom are also in Barbie form - are. Don't get me wrong, I love Barbie & Comic culture, so I totally want one.